I can Explain!!

So, over the last week or so I've been thinking hard about my blog.  I want to start posting again.  And in the last two days I've received as many reminders that, hey, I should start posting again.

I have to look at why I haven't been posting, and really, I just haven't been all that excited about yarny things lately.  I've been a  little depressed, and who knows how those two things interlock.

Early on in the ebb I was just working with yarn and other knitters every day.  There were days that I wanted to get home and watch tv without a knitting needle in sight.  I know, right?

Then I was laid off from that job, and I shrunk back even further.  My visit time to Ravelry went way down (and I can stand proudly with the group that declares Ravelry my greatest enabler).  I didn't want to knit a whole lot.

I moved, I wasn't working, I didn't get out much, and I got a little depressed.

I had an MS flare up and got a little more depressed.

I lost use of my hands.  Got a lot more depressed.  Could knit without intense concentration.  Couldn't spin at all.

I went to knitting, because that time with my framily (like that word?  I couldn't have just invented it.  You all have framily.  Friends that you have become family with) anyway, my framily kept me feeling passingly normal for a few hours a week.  It was nice.  I would have been completely in the void without them.

But a few weeks ago, I started to love the action of my needles again.  Was it Galina?  Was it just the barometric pressure?  Last week I was watching tv and rummaged through my bag to find the hat I'd been knitting a few hours a week at knitting.  I knit on it in my living room watching Food Network and felt at peace.  Happy.

Last weekend I made a lightbox and photographed my first basket of yarn to update my stash on Ravelry.  It had been sitting in the bags (and bags) of it that we moved it in back in April.  I didn't want to unpack it because I figured it would be a good time to get it online.  And I put it off time and time again.  Now it's all leaving the space bags and finding its way onto my Ravelry profile, and into the shelves.

I've got some great yarn.  A lot of great yarn.

Tonight, I spun.  I hadn't spun for months.  I have my hands mostly back, but I was still feeling a bit defeated.  Would it break me if I sucked?  Would frustration make me sell my wheels?

I spun tonight, and I think I'm going to be ok.

I think I'm back.

Can't wait to see everyone at tomorrow's Fiber Revival (nice timing, right?)

 

Comments

[Lisha]

I for one am glad you are back. Struggles suck. They suck even more when you don't reach out. I know you have Chris, but you have your friends too. I had no idea what you have been going through...I wish you had reached out. Reminder...I can usually take time off at a moments notice...ping me if you need a friend please!!!
xoxo

[Jackie]

I knew you hadn't been knitting a lot, but I thought it was the flare-up. I'm glad that you're getting back to where you need to be.